Khloe
Saggy Cucumbers
Viagra what you use when your cucumber gets old and saggy? Men's worst enemy now we have something for ladies too Viagra for Ladies Before I became an Escort (the best thing I ever did)You know what would have made my life a bit easier during those dark years when my then boyfriend and I had grown tired of each other sexually I thought about A big, fat dose of Viagra.
If it works for old guys whose dicks are limper than Andy Warhols handshake, why shouldnt it work for me? I spent a week testing out a few different forms of female viagra I could find and hoped that at least one of them would turn me into a dribbling, thrusting sex-pest.
VIAFEM capsules contain a blend of eight herbs, which apparently increase blood flow and sensitivity to your lady flower. According to their website, you should not take Viafem under any circumstances if you are not in the mood to have sex, the implication being that they turn you into a total nymphomaniac whether you like it or not.
PINK VENUS This is a cherry lube flavoured libido shot *shivers it contains twice as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, which actually brought on a migraine that ironically left me unable to even think about having sex. I guess if giving head turns you on, you can spread it all over your boyfriend and suck away (be careful you dont get wired and like, chew it off, though). Thats pretty much the only sexual satisfaction this is going to give anybody. It probably would have been more use if I'd just thrown the shot down the sink and used the tube as a dildo. It made me feel about as sexy as watching one pigeon trying to force-fuck another on the roof of a funeral parlour.
GOLD MAX Look, not to freak you out or anything, but Gold MAX is fucking intense. I took two capsules before dinner, and without warning my body suddenly screamed YES, and the River Nile was unleashed in my panties. Thanks to GM I had sex for the first time in two months. YAY! My prey described me as being wetter than an otter's pocket which I am taking as a compliment. Afterwards, he fell asleep and left me writhing around all night trying to accidentally wake him by grinding up against him (quite aggressively). It says on the packet that Gold MAX is a Chinese herbal remedy and as such has no unpleasant side effects but I got the feeling that if I took it more often it might turn me into a rapist. Which is about as unpleasant a side effect as I can imagine.
As a result of the pounding caffeine headaches (and unfortunate lack of pounding) I have suffered this week, I am happy to announce that the waterfall-inducing Gold MAX is the clear winner.
Khloe: Go forth and squelch. The pill to thrill xx
